Writing a Memoir: How to Share Your Life Story

Many people may consider writing a memoir during their retirement, with much more free time to dedicate to the project.

Perhaps you want to reflect on your life, including all the adventures, experiences and lessons learnt along the way.

Maybe you want to share the account with your children and grandchildren for posterity.

Or you possibly might have an extended readership in mind, promoting your story to a wider audience through self-publishing, for example.

This article will explain what a memoir is and the reasons you may want to write one, providing essential advice for any budding author.

What is the Difference between Biography, Autobiography and Memoir?

A biography is the full life history of an individual, written by someone other than the subject.

An autobiography is the full life history of an individual, written by the subject.

A memoir is written by the subject but emotion is more important than chronological facts. It is more intimate than an autobiography and is likely to focus on lessons learned or a particular section of the subject’s life. Famous examples of memoir include Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt which focuses on Frank’s impoverished childhood and Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth which describes the experiences of a young midwife in the 1950s.

Why Write One?

There are several reasons to write a memoir:

• To pass on memories, experiences and life lessons to younger generations of the family.
• To leave something behind. We all want to be remembered in some way when we are gone.
• For therapy. Writing things down helps us understand the bad times and lay them to rest. Writing about an unhappy childhood, failed relationship or business disaster can give the past a different perspective and the future a new, positive feel.
• As a creative exercise. It is said that everyone has a book inside them – that book is your unique life experience.
• For money. This shouldn’t be the primary reason for putting memories onto paper. You are unlikely to make any money at all unless you are already famous or have a particularly interesting or unusual tale.

How to Structure and Organise Your Memoir

• Decide upon which aspect of your life to document. For example, a career in the Royal Navy or time spent working abroad or the experience of bringing up a disabled child or the cornucopia of charity fundraising you’ve done or the joys and hard work an allotment has brought to you and your family.
• Jot down as much as you can remember about that aspect of your life. There is no need for wonderfully constructed sentences, bullet points will do for this planning stage.
• Think about the theme of your memoir. The theme is important for your potential readers. Outside of your own family and friends, people will mostly read your memoir for what they can learn from it and if there is no theme to focus on, your memoir might just be a jumble of memories. Possible themes could be: coming to terms with bereavement, learning to cope in a hostile environment or the ups and downs of the journey to self-sufficiency. Tips for finding your memoir’s theme include telling someone your story and noticing which parts they are curious about, listing the major events in your life and looking for connections between them or summarising your story in three or four sentences to encapsulate the theme.
• Find the story arc of the memoir. Like any story, your memoir needs a beginning, a middle and an end. In particular, it also needs to show your growth or transformation as a person overcoming obstacles and learning from experience.

How to Trigger the Memories

Detail brings a story alive but the little things can be hard to remember. Here are some tricks to start the memories flowing:

• Dig out old photographs and use them to describe scenery, fashions of the time or even the posh ice cream sundae you had on a special birthday.
• Do you have a box of memorabilia such as tickets, accounts, receipts, programmes, diaries etc.?
• Try playing music from the time. Sometimes just a few notes from a particular song will send our emotions straight back to a period of sadness, uncertainty or joy. Smell and taste can have a similar effect – try buying or cooking food that was popular in the time period or country you are trying to remember.
• Talk to other people who lived through the same experiences as you and ask what they remember from that time.

Find the Discipline to Keep Writing

A memoir can be as long or as short as you want it to be but the more you intend to write, the more discipline you will need to keep going. Try the following:

• Write at the same time, in the same place every day (or as often as possible). After a time this will become a habit and your brain will jump into ‘writing’ mode as soon as you sit down.
• Set attainable daily goals. Don’t plan to write 5,000 words in a single writing session. A target of 500 words per day is far more achievable. Conquering a small goal will generate more satisfaction than missing a larger one.
• Finish a writing session at a place where you know what comes next and make a brief note about it. This makes it easier to come to your desk the next day and pick up where you left off. In The Art of Fiction No. 21, Ernest Hemingway said, “You write until you come to a place where you still have your juice and know what will happen next and you stop and try to live through until the next day when you hit it again.”
• Get to the end of your memoir before you start editing the sentences into better shape. If you edit as you go, progress will be slow and you may spend days perfecting just one chapter at the expense of ever reaching the end of the memoir.

How to Publish Your Memoir

If you’ve written your memoir as a family heirloom then it might be sufficient to get a dozen copies made at your local print shop for distribution to children and grandchildren. If you’ve been writing as therapy or in order to sort out the past in your own mind, then printing a single copy or simply keeping the manuscript in your notebook or on the computer may be enough.

However, if you feel that your memoir has broader appeal then you might want to try approaching a literary agent. An agent usually requires the first three chapters of the book plus a synopsis and bona fide agents will not ask for any payment upfront.

Another alternative is self-publishing. Information about self-publishing and a list of reputable companies can be found on the Alliance of Independent Authors website.

Last Words

Writing a memoir can be a creative, addictive and satisfying pastime.

It produces something tangible that can be handed to the next generation and kept for posterity plus it often helps us make sense of our past experiences.

Why not have a go?

Author: Sally Jenkins - freelance writer and speaker.

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